In my single twenties I took for granted that if something wasn't enjoyable, and didn't seem it would become enjoyable in the foreseeable future, I could simply walk away. Boss was annoying me? Quit and find a new one. Friends cramping my style. Go to the next party. But even those two things have changed. I don't think I'll want new friends now because I've found the ones I'm looking for. And I don't think I'll get a new job...well because I'm my boss. But with Lena, taking a break isn't an option. I push on when its hard.
Which is starting to make me look at my writing differently. I've now written 3 and a half novels. My first I quit because I was tired of marketing it and I felt I'd grown past it. My second I just stopped writing because I felt I wasn't doing a good enough job. My third I sent to many publishers, but when I realized the changes I would have to make to create a more readable and likeable novel, I just decided to put it "in my nightstand." Now I have finished Running Out of Road (working title). There is so much work to be done on it and less hours in the day to do it. I had a hard enough time finding the motivation and energy to work on it when I wasn't staff for Lena. I feel myself getting ready to walk away...again.
So what do I differently this time? I kind of need your help on this one. I want to treat my responsibility to writing similarly to how I treat being a father. It's my duty, my role, etc. But I'm having a hard time forming that connection. Any suggestions.
